How To Get Motivated: From Inertia To Momentum In One Coaching Session

We’ve all been there, those moments when our usual gusto for life seems to evaporate, leaving us feeling like we’re simply going through the motions. I’ll be honest with you, for two weeks in March, that’s exactly how I felt.

Usually, I have lots of energy. I’m excited, motivated, and inspired to engage at work and home, but I just could not seem to motivate myself to tackle my to-do list. Whether it was working on deliverables for my team, organizing the baby clothes to give away, or reviewing my schedule to open up slots for several new coaching clients - everything felt like a Herculean task.

This ennui had me moving aimlessly through the day, waiting until everyone was in bed so I could snack mindlessly, binge-watch House of Cards, and simply tune out the world.

Of course, this did me no good because the next morning, I’d hit snooze until the last possible moment and then feel like I was shot out of a cannon, rushing through my morning routine with the kids only to sink bleary-eyed in front of my laptop for 8 AM.

I knew what to do but I just wasn’t doing it. I half-heartedly told myself, “Tomorrow will be different,” but the cycle would inevitably repeat itself.

Something had to give.

When we get stuck feeling sluggish and unmotivated, it’s easy to think that if we could just find that spark of motivation again, we could begin to take action. But actually, the opposite is true...

Ask For Help

Many of us struggle to ask for help for all kinds of reasons. We might be worried that others will judge us or reject us. We might not know how to articulate what we need. Finally, asking for help requires us to be vulnerable when we’re already feeling a little lost and down.

I knew I was in trouble. I couldn’t keep sleepwalking and phoning it in - coming alive only for a few hours at work with my clients or when interacting with my kids. I missed the appointment that day, but a few days later, I found the courage to reach out again. This time, when she offered an appointment - I took it.

I expected to hop on the call, spend some time catching up ( it had been a few months since our last call), and coach around finding a new routine that would inspire me and give me the discipline I needed to finally make a dent in that to-do list.

But that was not what happened.

As we began to explore our area of focus, I immediately became emotional. And we both knew that there was more going on here than just routines or late-night TV marathons.

I needed to go deeper and explore why I was upset. Our emotions are simply another piece of information and they’re often a clue that something more is going on.

But as it so often happens when we feel stuck, there wasn’t one clear thing. If it was obvious, then we’d find a way to work through it quickly on our own, right?

The Power Of Problem-Solving With Someone Else

We might want to kick ourselves for not being able to figure it out on our own but sometimes it takes another person to reflect our words back to us before we can see it. And sometimes, we just need to be able to talk through it with a compassionate and non-judgemental listener. 

My coach was able to key into my language, and that’s where she found the clues.

I was trying not to feel certain emotions. Rather than feeling them, I was avoiding them (and everything else). We talked through what happens when we hold onto emotions, and in that space, she encouraged me to let it out because by holding onto the emotions, I was only compounding the issue.

Stuffing down our feelings can create a pressure cooker and at some point, something will need to give.

How 'Green Ballons' Helped Me Get Motivated Again

My coach walked me through an exercise, and I was able to feel anger, frustration, and finally, sadness. It took no more than 5 minutes, and before we had even completed the visualization, my mood had shifted. I felt calm, clean, and a profound sense of relief and lightness.

My coach had given me not only permission to feel but a process to welcome it, allowing it to move through me. And just like that, my inertia was behind me.

Here’s a visualization you can try if you struggle to allow your emotions to move through you. This works even if you can’t name the feeling.

Start by taking a few deep breaths. If it feels good or natural, you may want to close your eyes. Now ask yourself:

• What color is your emotion?
• Where in your body do you feel it?
• Is it moving?
• How strong is it?

Get curious about this feeling. Try just to notice it without judgment. You may ask that feeling what it needs and give yourself the space of a few breaths to listen. When you’re ready, put the feeling in a green balloon and send it on its way. Imagine it floating away and the sensations in your body dissolving as the balloon disappears into the sky.

Why Taking The Right Action Is Key

After I felt and released my emotions, I was able to move into analysis - oh yes, there it was again, my propensity to go, go, go, and then crash (in this case, a sore throat). “Haven’t we been here before?” I mused. She nodded lovingly, and with that realization, we could dive into our action planning.

I had been sprinting a figurative marathon and had done several back-to-backs. This was just not sustainable, nor was it fun. We looked at the facts and how I had been spending my time. We asked questions such as “Where was my energy?” and “Where were my thoughts?” She is great at having me consider how my thoughts will shape and guide my outcomes.

“What did I really want?” she asked.

I wanted rest, but couldn’t get it until maybe the end of April (mind you, that was 5 weeks away, and I felt despondent at the thought). She gently reminded me that my words were preventing me from arriving at a solution, and I shifted my wording again and again until, with a little work, I was able to carve out a whole day to simply rest.

Just knowing it was coming helped me. I decided to book in at a day spa and truly relax. “It’s going to be amazing,” I said and she repeated my words back to me and reminded me that the more I felt like it would be amazing the more it would be.

There Is Always A Solution: 6 Steps On How To Get Motivated

For me, coaching is a great option to explore why I was stuck, identify and move through my feelings, and ultimately begin to problem-solve. And if you don’t have a coach or can’t get into a coaching session, here are a few things to try to help you get back on track...

Step #1: Identify Your Feelings

Gaining clarity on your emotions is the first step. To get started, consider asking yourself:

• What exactly are you feeling (think anxious, frustrated, overwhelmed)?
• When do you feel most stuck (think situations, time of day, activities)?
• How do these feelings manifest in my body? Noticing physical sensations can help you recognize emotions early, and if you make this a practice, you might find some patterns (for example, that knot in my stomach always signals anxiety, or that interrupted sleep pattern always signals I am too stressed out which could lead to burnout).

Step #2: Understand The Root Causes

Delve deeper into the causes behind your lack of motivation by exploring the following questions:

• What specific events or thoughts led to feeling this way?
• Are there underlying beliefs or fears contributing to my feelings (sometimes feelings of being stuck are rooted in deeper fears or limiting beliefs)?
• What aspect of this situation can I control, and what is beyond my control?

Step #3: Reflect On Past Successes

Boost your confidence and guide your future actions by reflecting on past successes. Here are some prompts to consider:

• When have I felt this way before and how did I overcome it?
• What strengths have I used in the past to overcome challenges?
• Can I apply any strategies from past successes to my current situation?

Step #4: Envision Your Ideal Outcome

Imagining your desired outcome can clarify your path forward. Think about the following:

• What does “unstuck” look like for me (feel free to visualize your ideal state or outcome)?
• What are the first steps toward that vision (for example, breaking down the journey into smaller steps can make it feel more comfortable)?
• Who can support me in this process (consider friends, family, mentors, or professionals)?

Step #5: Map Out Your Next Steps

Set realistic goals and allow yourself space to rest along the way. Answer the following questions to get the ball rolling:

• What is one small action I can take right now? 
• How will I address any obstacles if they arise (anticipating challenges can prepare you to face them as long as you don’t slip into catastrophizing)?

NEED MORE? TRY THESE EXERCISES:

Step #6: Implement Your Plan

Putting your plan into action is crucial for achieving your goals. Keep these questions in mind as you begin implementation:

• Have you set aside time for this (for example, dedicate a regular time or day each week for journaling and reflection)?
• How do you ensure that you will be patient with and kind to yourself (because let's be honest, progress may be slow and that's okay; self-compassion is key here!)?
• Who will you contact to seek feedback (sometimes an outside perspective can offer valuable insights or suggest solutions you hadn't considered)?

I hope my story and the six steps help you find your groove when you feel a bit out of whack. Writing this blog post reminded me of Sandra Stroner Sivulich's book 'I’m Going on a Bear Hunt' - sometimes you can’t go over it, you can’t go under it, you can only go through it. Just remember that you don’t have to go through it alone.