There’s a magic that happens when a team trusts one another. When there’s a trusting relationship between you and your boss or between you and one of your team members - it’s something you can just feel.
I didn’t know this when I first started out. The first place I worked was my father’s pharmacy, and there was so much camaraderie, support, and trust - it just seemed normal.
You could share what you were thinking, you knew where you stood, there were clear expectations, and if something didn’t go well, you knew that someone else would jump in and cover. Feedback was given and was easier to take because you trusted the intentions of those around you. Trust was freely given until you proved otherwise - it was so beautiful!
I had a similar experience with my second job. We worked long hours together and traveled a lot, getting a startup off the ground. The products and services included new technology, and we were building the plane as we were flying it. There was a level of trust inherent to our business and needed for the different functions to work seamlessly together as we built customized offerings for our clients.
I thought this level of trust was the norm.
A few years later, when I didn’t have this experience, I was gobsmacked. Now that I’ve got a lot more years of experience under my belt, I realize that issues around trust are common and happen for various reasons.
Building Trust Isn't Always Easy...
Trust-building is essential for great working relationships, effectiveness as a team, and building a positive culture in the workplace. Trust accelerates problem-solving and decision-making. It creates a safe environment for open, honest, and transparent communication. And it enhances commitment and buy-in from team members.
With the uncertainty and accelerating change that we’re facing today, trust is more important than ever.
When I’m helping clients navigate issues of trust, there are a few different models that I look to and they all provide interesting insights:
- Patrick Lencioni’s Pyramid of Trust
- Robert Fagerlin’s Trustology Model
- Brené Brown’s BRAVING Model
Let’s look at three different scenarios and how these models can help us navigate trust at work.
When A Leader Doesn’t Trust You
A senior leader I coach found herself in an awkward position. A group of leaders left to join another firm, and a new leader has entered the practice. My client chose to stay and is a devoted team player with deep expertise in her area of focus. However, the new leader isn’t letting my client in. It seems that there is a lack of trust. My client has met with him a few times without much progress.
Fagerlin's Trustology Model
The model from Fagerlin’s Trustology is helpful in pinpointing where the problem is and provides some guidance on how to potentially fix it.
Fagerlin’s model has three parts:
- Trusting yourself.
- Trusting others.
- Becoming trustworthy.
When it comes to trusting others, Fagerlin rejects the idea that trust must be earned. Instead, he suggests that we should give others the benefit of the doubt. Extending trust until they’ve proven to be untrustworthy. It’s about believing in someone’s capabilities and intentions.
In this case, the new leader needs to extend trust rather than expect my client to earn it. By choosing not to believe in my client, the new leader is reserved and on edge, and developing the relationship will be difficult.
All my client can do is continue to show up as someone worthy of trust. According to Fagerlin, that means she needs to continue to be consistent, transparent and own any mistakes.
When You Don’t Trust Another Leader
Another leader, who’s in one of the executive groups I facilitate was in a position where she couldn’t trust her boss, the CEO. The CEO wasn’t a supportive manager and, as a leader, was continually throwing her and her team members under the bus.
My client was beloved by her team and has won industry awards. She advocated for herself and her team, gave the CEO chance after chance, and continued to try to build the relationship and establish trust.
But time after time, the poor behavior continued, and she couldn’t make any headway with the CEO.
Brené Brown, in a famous talk, linked trust to a marble jar.
Every time someone does something trustworthy, it adds a marble to the jar, and over time, trust is strengthened. In the same respect, actions that countered trust, such as the CEO who didn’t deliver on promises, didn’t want to be held accountable, was opaque, and obfuscated what was really going on (sometimes blatantly), took marbles out of the jar - eroding trust over time.
Brené Brown's BRAVING Model
Brené’s research indicated seven characteristics of trust, and they provide clues as to where trust has been broken and what needs to happen to mend it. She uses the acronym BRAVING to describe these seven characteristics:
BOUNDARIES
Each person sets clear boundaries about what’s okay and what’s not okay with them and honors it.
RELIABILITY
I can count on you to do what you say you’re going to do, and you can expect the same from me.
ACCOUNTABILITY
When I make a mistake, I own it, apologize, and make amends, and you do the same when you make a mistake.
VAULT
What I share with you will be held in confidence (it goes in the vault) and vice versa.
INTEGRITY
We choose courage over comfort. We choose what’s right over what’s fun, fast, and easy.
NON-JUDGMENT
When things go wrong, you can ask for help and not be judged for it.
GENEROSITY
We assume the most generous things we can about each other’s words, actions, and intentions. And we check in to see what’s going on. It’s about giving someone the benefit of the doubt.
In this case, my client has been generous (giving many chances), chosen to show up with integrity (advocating for herself and her team), and been faced with someone who is unreliable, refuses to own her mistakes, and ignores boundaries. The CEO has proven herself untrustworthy over and over again and my client will have to accept that this relationship isn’t likely to change. The next steps will depend on the structure of her organization, but it will likely begin with documenting her behavior and then approaching HR with her concerns.
Trust is the antidote to fear.
When Your Team Is Uneasy
I have a client who was surprised when an issue of trust surfaced in his team. His team, usually so close and high-performing, is on edge. They feel there’s a change coming, more layoffs perhaps, and even though my client has reassured them that’s not the case, they’re still worried and all over the place. It’s anything but business as usual.
Lencioni's Pyramid of Trust
Lencioni outlines five areas that create an environment of trust and my client can focus on these things as she continues to reassure her team.
VULNERABILITY-BASED TRUST
Being open about mistakes and weaknesses, sharing personal and professional stories, and scheduling regular check-ins all contribute to building trust.
MANAGING CONFLICT
Encourage healthy debates and don’t settle for artificial harmony. Address disagreements openly and constructively and commit to resolutions. To this, we would add that it’s helpful to learn how you approach conflict and how others respond in times of stress so that you can use the right tools to manage the situation.
ACHIEVING COMMITMENT
Involve the team in decisions. Give clarity in direction and priorities and address ambiguities. This will be especially important for a team that’s on edge.
EMBRACE ACCOUNTABILITY
Set clear standards and create regular feedback cycles. Remember to celebrate wins and approach losses with curiosity - seeing them as an opportunity to learn.
FOCUS ON RESULTS
To build camaraderie and avoid a culture of competition, prioritize team results over individual achievements. Celebrate the collaborative successes.
My client needs to address the layoff concerns with transparent communication (here’s what we know and what we don’t know). He can empower her team by involving them in decisions (how can we collectively address challenges?). And he can provide extra support (resources such as counseling or skill development) until they’re back on track.
His team may also benefit from team-building exercises, training and development opportunities, and more frequent one-on-ones.
Navigating trust in relationships with colleagues, bosses, and subordinates isn’t easy. There are a number of models about trust that we can reference to better understand the situation and how we might improve it. These models often complement and support one another, so don’t be afraid to mix and match.
While building trust and extending trust to others often takes courage, empathy, and time, the magic that happens when trust is established makes it all worthwhile. And it creates a culture and environment that we’re happy to show up to every day.
If you want to create a team culture where everyone is heard and an environment where everyone can thrive, let's chat. Through our Team Accelerator Program, we create a customized experience that will build trust and give your team the knowledge, skills, and practical experience to succeed together.
